My Opinions and Story Drafts
by ireadeverything
Summary: Naruto for no reason. Look at title for topic of this thing. M because... why not? Somewhat similar, in parts, to "Odd Ideas" by Rorschach's Blot.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, everyone! This was naruto M 300, and now is ireadeverything. That means I-Read-Everything.

So: My rules-

I don't have a copyright on my works. But if you are going to use, abuse, change, adapt, or just plain copy what I do, then make sure to site me. Say in big, bold, letters: ORIGINAL STORY IDEA FROM (insert my current username here)'s story (insert story name here). Just give me credit.

You have no idea how shocked I was that fg7dragon's beloved Naruto Chaos Mage's first few chapters were slightly adapted versions of even more renowned Naruto One Man Team. Not to mention the other few, weak, less well-grammar-ed versions that exist.

I'm fine with you using my ideas, or even downright copying entire pages of my works. But I want CITATIONS! It is fine to continue on with one of my stories from chapter 5 because you think a I botched up chapter 6, but say: CHAPTERS 1-5 OF THIS STORY FROM (insert my current username here)'s (insert story name here). That's fine.

Done with that rant.

* * *

Okay, next order of business: My updates.

They will be sporadic at best. In my mind, is a way for me to take my many, amazing ideas and put them down so others can see them. If I stop writing a story, it's probably because I've never really seen it that far ahead when I first imagined the concept.

So if you see any ideas of mine that you like, I would be honored if you used them or completely re-invented them through your own style of writing.

End of that rant.

* * *

My reviewers. Ah, how I love and hate you all. First off, in case you misunderstand, let me share with you how I think of reviews. They are not exactly currency, or gold. It is a kind of prestige. Because, as far as I know, you can't just go to "Manga," "Naruto," and then sort by word count, I usually find what stories to read through number of reviews. The more reviews, ingeneral the better.

So don't hold back! Let the gates flood! **GIVE ME MORE!**

On another note, I always love when people give me reviews about what to write. As I said before, I don't usually have a plot in mind, just a scattering of events and ideas.

So, as I said before, while I still love the regular "Great chapter, keep going" reviews, I like even more the "So, did you know about this concept? If you use it like this, then…" kind of reviews.

And again, on any reason, don't PM me. Unless it's a personal question, review it to me. Until I have over 1k+ reviews or something, I'll continuously check them. And then I'll respond in the next chapter.

So, as everyone always says, REVIEW!

End rant

* * *

Just remember, if you think I am being rude or anything, I'm not. I'm just splatting out my ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

As of 5/28/2013:

Hello everyone!

I see the terrifyingly large amount of non-views this has been getting. Why?

Also, I got 8 reviews last chapter of Naruto yada yada yada. 8… and many times that (read: 150 times that) views.

I am not happy.

WHY DO YOU NOT REVIEW? WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION?

Either way, back to the important stuff…

* * *

I recently had a great breakthrough in guns for Naruto. You'll have to read to find out.

Also, if you read the up-and-coming Shatter, Kaleidoscope chapter, you will doubtlessly be confused by how energies work. I will explain it to you this way:

There are two overarching types of energy- Internal and external.

-Everyone has a pool of locked internal energies.

-Anyone can access a (hypothetically) infinite amount of internal energies

-Internal energies from different mangas are different regardless of name. Chi (Naruto) is different from Chi (Negima)

-Different kinds of internal energies never interact; only add to your total pool.

-Your amounts of a certain type of internal energy has no effect on any other pool of energy.

-External energies are unique to each world.

-External energies stimulate the corresponding internal energy, so as you visit more worlds you will be able to access more of your internal pools.

As an explanation, Lee (Naruto) can for some reason access Chi (Negima) but not any type of internal energies from the Narutoverse. This has the effect of increasing his physical potential while ensuring that no Narutoverse person can help him control his chakra, because he can't access it. However, if he met Setsuna (Negima), she would be able to teach him how to use his Chi (Negima) for more effective purposes.

Does this make sense? Kinda? Sorta? Maybe?

* * *

A pet peeve of mine: Read this:

_Naruto walked through his mindscape, finding the cage holding the Kyuubi. But in reality, the Kyuubi was a beautiful, innocent female, that was tricked into doing everything wrong that she ever did! She actually was really regretful, and wants to make it up to Naruto._

_-Indefinite amount of time later-_

_Kyuubi is Naruto's love or one of his harem wives…_

My reactions to all of these are…

WTH are you thinking, guys?

Kyuubi is _not_ female, and is actually (as explained in CANNON, not some random source) a ball of Chakra, given form through HATRED! You cannot "replace the hatred with love," or have Kyuubi "learn to love," because Kyuubi does not have the capacity to learn those feelings.

That is like saying the Carbon atoms in steel can "learn" to become Human beings!

NNNNOOOOOOOO! No! No! Kyuubi, in the manga as of now,_ respects_ Naruto, and has instead focused his hatred on Madara, Obito, and Ten Tails. He didn't lose his hatred, just redirected.

Back to my earlier example, just because you move the steel into a bucket doesn't mean it doesn't exist anymore. It still exists, there is nothing in its place, it was just _moved_ into the bucket!

Okay, so that is my mini pet peeve I wanted to share.


	3. Big Booms Intro

As of 8/21/2013:

This is an original SAO (Sword Art Online) story.

* * *

**I Like Big Booms**

Introduction: The Bunker

Our story starts, not inside a game, but with a group of six people. Three male, three female. All trapped inside an underground bunker, with only one way to escape. However, these six were all willing participants in what was going on.

Situated right next to a fast-moving underground river, the bunker had a nearly endless supply of energy. It used this energy to power one internet router, six of the latest computers, two older models, lights, and a kitchen. This is the home of the ones who make sure the mega game, Sword Art Online, runs correctly.

These are the ones on the receiving end of "help" calls. These are the ones who handle day-to-day errors and events. The ones who manage all (previously) 10,000 players in the game.

At this point, their names are irrelevant. However, their importance/screen time ratio shall be one of the largest to exist in the following tale, as told from a certain person's perspective. And so, let us begin in the debrief as to their life here in the bunker:

It was simple. Four on duty at once, one pair resting for their eight hours of free time. The six pseudo–GMs were all partners with one other, and tensions were relatively low. Everyone was friends, and they were doing the best they could to limit casualties. Lacking access to Kayaba's system, they had no way to shut off the game safely. The only method available to them would instantly kill all players in full drive.

So the six friends were doing the best they could; making sure NPC's quests were giving rewards, managing drop rates, and insuring the System Assist was functioning correctly. And it was their job to take care of any problems Kayaba didn't take a personal interest in.

As for actual living conditions, each slept for about 7 hours a day, more or less. Time was just a number on the screen for them, who lacked natural light. They ate on and off the job, and exercised if they felt like it, to keep in decent shape. They had a humongous stash of food, several months worth, and could import if need be.

And so the stage is set! All is ready to begin an alternate version of what happens in SAO. But is it really a **Death Game? (AN: If this isn't clear enough, than I just said that the fanfic Death Game? would be considered cannon)**.


	4. Big Booms Chap 1

As of 8/21/2013:

This is an original SAO (Sword Art Online) story.

* * *

**I Like Big Booms**

Chapter 1: Starting a Streak

"Time to see if this is anything like what it's supposed to be..."

That was what I said as I put on the NerveGear. It was almost time to start the new game, Sword Art Online, where I would hopefully have fun... because for the first time in RPG history, you could actually _be _the character! Took them long enough.

I'm Jewish, which was really rare in Japan, but I suppose that's a good thing. I decided to use all my $12,300 of Bar'Mitzvah money to buy tickets in a local auction for a NerveGear. I actually won, and all the money went into community projects like improving the park. That was really the only way I convinced my parents to let me blow it all off on one lottery: "It's for a good cause, mom! It's like picking up the trash around the street! But I'm using my own money and..."

Yeah right. Good cause, my big, fat, hairy...

"Oh! We can start now!"

And on that note, I put the strange contraption on my head, eager to begin my new adventure.

* * *

But sadly, my NerveGear was not as excited to start. I first had to do some random calibration test, and then fill in some information. Then the game had to _load,_ and then I had to go through all the character creation screens. I gave myself some random face, an average height and weight at first, but then...

"If this is actually customizable, then I should make myself below average height, about how tall I am right now. And a bit below average weight, to make it match my height pleasingly... and then... good!" See, I'm actually not your strippling, handsome, hero-type 17-19 year old. I'm actually a 5'4" 14-year old. **(AN: I was that tall when I was 14. Good times... note the lack of self-insert BTW.)** And then make my face a little younger...

"Goodbye, me. Enter, manga character with a similar face and body."

* * *

So! As I entered the game, I was prettly late. Maybe 2 hours? Actually, I live somewhere that's in a different time zone than the rest of this game was in, so I guess I was later than I thought. In fact, I spawned in a coliseum. The sky was red, and it seemed like everyone was there. And there was that humongous guy in the sky, too. Did I just get into the middle of something? I actually kind of zoned out while checking everything else around me. It seemed pretty realistic. But I was startled when everyone started screaming. I winced and looked around, and the guy next to me looked panicked. He was trying to do something with his fingers...?

Suddenly, a blue screen appeared with words on it under his searching fingers. I realized that this screen was probably the menu. Good to know.

Then, the person's face turned white (literally white, probably video game effects) and he started sputtering. "No... why... WHY TAKE OUT THE [Exit Game] BUTTON, KAYABA?"

From the tension in his voice and all the others around me, I assumed this wasn't a joke. I tried opening the menu, and found the same blue screen as he did. Hm... there were a few interesting buttons, but not one said [Log Out] or something similar. Well, that sucks. Apparently, I can't leave this game. I can't really wrap my head around that. I might never see my friends and family again? No... there was no way. Well, actually, it _is_ possible I guess. But...

I just won't accept it. I won't crash, won't sit down, won't get depressed, and I'll keep on fighting! Yeah! And while I want to get back as soon as possible, I guess I should enjoy this world while it lasts. If Kayaba won't let us out, then obviously he would implement some repercussions for trying to remove the NerveGear from the outside world. Like death, maybe. But what happens if you die mid-game? Will we just respawn?

**"However, if you die in this game, the NerveGear will also send an electric shock to your brain and kill you in real life."**

Well, there goes that question.

Kayaba started talking again, but I zoned him out again. Time to figure out how to play this game! If I'm gonna be stuck here for the next year (or more), I want the maximum entertainment! I payed real money for this!

With that thought on my mind, I started exploring the menu. The second icon from the top was a person. That looked interesting. So I pressed it. It took me to a page that had three buttons: [Stats] [Equipment] and [Skills]. I started with [Stats].

It showed me a screen with some rather annoying information on it. Apparently, my [Strength] and [Agility] were both at 1. But I had three points to spend, so..

Wait. That large, empty space below the two seemingly lone stats seems suspicious. Are there extra, unlock-able stats? Is that possible? Deciding to save my points for later, I pressed the [Back] button to return to the [Character] screen. From there I clicked on [Equipment].

Hm... some random starter stuff already equipped and a sword. I guess I'll put on the sword for now.

Now on to the fun part. I clicked on the [Skills] section and was not surprised to see a huge list in front of me with a scrollbar to the right. Some skills were glowing, some were grayed out, and there were two empty boxes to the right of the list. I guess... I can pick from the list of available skills andput them into my empty skill slots? That seems right on with how SAO's description was. All skills, no magic. Oh well. So let's see this humongous list.

* * *

As I scrolled through the large list of [Skills], I became increasingly determined to find out what was at the bottom of such a long list. Was it a skill that let you use magic? Or maybe a bow and arrow? No... that wouldn't make sense. Oh well. I'm almost there!

And at the end of the list, I was surprised by what I saw. It wasn't a fancy-shmancy skill, or some super-powered ability. But it was almost as good. These were the skills:

[Tough] - **Adds the [Constitution] stat. [Constitution] allows you to temporarily stay at 0 HP before dying and gives you a slight healing.****  
**[Intelligent] - **Adds the [Intelligence] stat. [Intelligence] makes critical hit areas visible and larger.**  
[Charismatic] - **Adds the [Charisma] stat. [Charisma] gives you better deals at NPC shops and bonuses in select quests.****  
**[Lucky] - **Adds the [Luck] stat. [Luck] slightly increases drop rates, gives you slightly better deals at NPC shops, and gives a higher chance to dodge.**

Wow. This would be a big bonus to anyone who found it.

[Constitution] would be a bonus for anyone in a party. They could hover at 0 HP until a friend broke out the potions.

[Intelligence] could potentially be good for a person with low strength. Actually, I could build myself into an [Agility] [Intelligence] build and use hit-n'-run to kill mobs... that could be a good backup plan.

[Charisma] would actually be kind of useful early on. But I think players are eventually going to be the main blacksmiths, and so it won't be as useful when NPCs become obsolete.

[Luck] though... Yeah, if what I have in mind is going to work, or just in general, [Luck] will be really useful. Let me just check some stuff out first.

I was about to do deeper thinking when I was almost crushed by a stampede. I looked up and noticed the giant was gone. He must have released all the invisible walls over the doorways. Alright then, it means I can leave.

* * *

It was later that day (late afternoon at this point) that I went to an NPC shop. I wanted to look up something. I knew that players were going to eventually be chefs, and I needed to know how all the stoves would be powered. This was important! So I went to a small kitchenware shop to see what fuel was provided. I opened up the shop menu, and looked down the list of various stove-powering items. This was the currently available list-

**550 col worth of fuel:****  
**[1 sack Charcoal] - Burns for 1 hour, emits pleasantly warm smoke  
[1 sack Coal] - Burns for 2 hours  
[1 cord Rosewood] - Burns for 1.5 hours, smells good  
[1 bottle Petroleum] - Burns for 1 hour, cooks things faster

My eyes were stuck to the last option.

They sold bottles of petroleum.

At the store.

YES!

I quickly opened my inventory, and looked for the amount of col I started with.

500.

What was in my inventory that I wasn't immediately using?

[Starter Sword], [Hand Mirror].

I sold them both, the [Starter Sword] for 45 col, and the [Hand Mirror] for 5. What was that [Hand Mirror], anyway? If it was only worth 5 col, then it was probably stupid.

I then used all 550 of my glorious col to buy a [Petroleum Bottle].

I heard a chime following my purchase.

The NPC was smiling at me, and asked me if I wanted a lighter to go with it. After all, the stoves here don't start by themselves!

In slight awe, I nodded to her and took the [Pocket Lighter] into my inventory. I was almost there! Just a little bit more!

Well now that I knew it would work, I chose [Weapon Throwing] and [Lucky] as my two skills. Immediately after, I put all three of my skill points into the newly available [Luck].

As I exited my inventory, I noticed that the shop's NPC had a glowing question mark over her head. The extra [Luck] must have done something. If this game is at all similar to MapleStory, then that means there was something related to a quest going on. I asked her "Is there something you want me to do?" It seemed like a valid question.

She quickly smiled at me and responded "Yes, as a matter of fact there is! My husband's tavern is running low on ale, and needed somebody to take this to him. Could you do that?" She gave me a wink. "I'll even give you some if you come back in time." I guess I did something right, and started a quest. So I had to take some ale to her husband and then make it back? Sounded pretty simple. Maybe it was because of my luck? Oh well, I'll figure it out later.

* * *

On my minimap, I saw a gold icon across the town, and a timer appeared above it. So that is where I had to go? That's fine.

I started running there, feeling pretty good. I guess having an artificial body will do that to you. The [Starting City] wasn't actually that big, so I got there wit time to spare, despite my 1 [Agility]. The barman there thanked me, and gave me a bottle of beer, some exp, and col as thanks. So I said goodbye (even though it probably unnecessary) and left.

It was time to start my project... HAHAHA!

* * *

So, as I reached a comfortable corner in town to set up for the night (having blown all my money on the petrol, I couldn't lodge) I got out my petroleum, beer, and a strip of my [Starting Shirt]. Apparently, you can strip away parts of equipment at a cost to durability. I soaked the rag in the beer, and waited for a minute or two. I then took the alcohol-soaked rag and put it in the bottle of petroleum to replace the stopper. I could now fight.

* * *

First things first... let's make sure this would work.

I opened my menu, and clicked the [Help] button. I was honestly surprised to see, instead of a long FAQ, a screen displaying [Calling GM...]. I guess this would actually be better, my question _is_ kind of weird, after all.

* * *

**In the bunker...**

A screen popped open in front of the page that displayed the code of SAO. I was currently making sure that the [Luck] stat was working correctly. Apparently, these two players somehow set it to -999 and 999. They were the Twins, as I liked to call them. But for some reason, any attempt to change their lucks resulted in an error.

But back to the call, I clicked the [Accept] button to start the videochat. This was going to be my first call! So excited! Ooh! Let's see his face!

I was kind of saddened to see an average-looking guy, who didn't even seem that surprised to see me. Maybe he thought I was an NPC? Oh well. Let's begin the interrogation!

"What is your name?"

"Uh... someone?"

"And what is your quest?"

"I _think_ it is too ask you a question."

"And what is the velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"It depends. Pre- or Post- Molotov Cocktail?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Okay, what was your real question."

"Does this game support fire damage?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"How dead would a mob be if I threw fire onto it? Like, a burning piece of wood?"

"Very dead, I assume. Let me check... yeah, I'll fix that and that... Good! Okay, in 15 minutes, throwing boiling oil on something should kill it, along with anything else your inner pyromaniac can think up. Good enough?"

"Perfect. Thanks."

"Bye."

**[System]** [Call Closed]

What am I about to unleash upon the would of SAO?

* * *

Ready to begin my training, I walked into the field and made sure to catch the attention of a whole group of [Frenzy Boar]. One even had red eyes!

I got about 6 of them following me around, when I suddenly pulled out my lighter and bottle of petrol + rag. I lit the rag, and threw my bottle into their midst.

Hello, Sword Art Online. Meet Molotov Cocktail. I'm sure you both will have a _long_ working relationship.

For those of you who don't know, the Molotov Cocktail works by throwing a bottle of petroleum or napalm with a lit rag at something hard, like the ground. The bottle breaks, and the petroleum/napalm spreads around the area. Then the lit rag ignites it all. Boom.

All the boars died in about 2 seconds from the rain of liquid fire. Apparently, mobs can't run while taking fire damage. The flinching system makes them flinch too rapidly to actually let them move towards me. The red-eyed one turned into some bigger thing, but I couldn't see it through the sea of flames. It took longer to die, but in the end everything was gone.

Then came the [Results] screen.

I got the [Last Attack], and killed a field boss on top of it, so I think I got a pretty good haul. Let's see... about 7000 col, just under 45000 exp, and some boar skins... other items... "Good!"

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

"Yes!... hmm?

Off to the left, two twins were being carried off by a pack of wolves. It looked like their party was out of it. Running over, I tried to catch up to the wolves but found my 1 [Agility] was too low. Well, that sucks. But the wolves must be NPCs. A regular monster's code wouldn't act like that, and would just have the monster attack them. I turned back towards the fallen party members, and looked into my inventory for something to help. I found [Health Potion 1] x 5, and brought them out to help the people on the ground. The pink-haired leader seemed to be frantic, so I told him my suspicions.

Plus, we could always go back for them, I reminded him. He thanked me, and told me his name. Klein. Then, we both added each other as friends.

I went back to my [Stats] page, and noticed that I had 12 more points to spend. Three per level, I guess. I put 3 in [Strength] and [Agility], leaving 6 for [Luck].

Next, I quickly restocked my supplies in [Starting City], getting 10 bottles of Petrol, 1 [Package of Rags] (an item that costs almost nothing and gives you 50 small rags), and one [Bottle of Rum] for 6130 col. Having 4 points in [Luck] was a good decision.

I'm done. I'm moving on. To then next town, [Horunka] I think.

* * *

**AN:**

**So, what do you guys think of the concept? Do you like it?**

**If you want me to continue with it, then I will. Or, you know, if you give me hatemail, then... you know...**


	5. Big Booms Chap 2

As of 8/21/2013:

This is an original SAO (Sword Art Online) story.

* * *

**I Like Big Booms**

Chapter 2: We Move On and Up

I was sitting in an inn room in [Horunka], reading up on some information on gunpowder and how to make it.

Where did I get this, you wonder?

From one of the GMs, of course!

Obviously, I can't search Wikipedia for homemade gunpowder recipes while in here, so I called a GM and asked him for the information. Since it was a videochat call, I guided him through the pages and sections that I needed and had him send them all to me in a series of messages. I was right now reviewing how to make Potassium Nitrate (KNO3), which I would need in addition to sulfur and charcoal. This was the "French Method:"

"Niter-beds are prepared by mixing manure with either mortar or wood ashes, common earth and organic materials such as straw to give porosity to a compost pile typically 1.5×2×5 meters in size. The heap was usually under a cover from the rain, kept moist with urine, turned often to accelerate the decomposition, then finally leached with water after approximately one year, to remove the soluble calcium nitrate which was then converted to potassium nitrate by filtering through the potash."

I already have manure and ashes. You can actually dig about 2 inches into the ground outside before it becomes an [Immortal Object], and straw is available from the cheap [Straw Mattress] that is sold in the [Camping] section of the [General Store]. So now I need compost... "I'll have to talk to the GM about it."

I quickly called the GM, and was greeted by the face that was quickly becoming familiar to me. He seemed exasperated.

"Whaddya want now? I'm in the middle of something!"

Well, this was different. Usually (the two times previous) he seemed bored. Now he was looking anxiously back at something on his screen. "What are you working on?"

"I'm making sure that this event is going to go on as planned. If it doesn't work out exactly right, lots of people could die needlessly. By the way, are you in [Horunka]?"

"Yes, why?"

"No reason. Now what was your question?"

"Can I make compost out of rotting food?"

"Why?"

"To make gunpowder."

"Oh, for the love of..." he facepalmed. Do people actually do that now? I assumed it was a manga-only kind of deal. "I didn't think you would follow through with that!"

"Well, I am. Following through with it. And I need compost. Can you make it so the general store sells a composter in the [Farming] section or something? Oh, and by the way, this world is in sore need of some sulfur in the [Perfume] section. Maybe something like a [Perfume: Bad Eggs] or something similar."

"I'm not even going to ask. I'll do it. You're going to spam me if I don't right? Well, just... TRY not to blow up the entire castle? I don't want to have to explain a gaping hole in the side of a supposedly [Immortal Object] to my compatriots. Before I leave, is there anything else you wanted?"

"As a matter of fact, yes!"

"Well, fu-"

"It's a simple question, really"

"-my life. What is it."

"What would happen if this pellet was in a monster's side and exploded?" I then showed the 'poor' GM a wooden ball the size of a thumb, with three small spikes on one side.

He looked at me defeated. "If you somehow managed to fill that with gunpowder, then make it explode while in a monster's side, the force would send the monster flying back, their HP would take a drop, and they would take continuous damage from the spikes. I'm not even going to ask who, what, or why. It wouldn't work on armor though. I'm ending the call now, and I'm going to add in that stuff so you'll stop talking to me and just leave."

I just grinned as he closed out the window.

Back in the bunker, a certain annoyed GM started playing "Want You Gone" from Portal 2

* * *

I packed my col and went to the [General Store], where you buy anything not related to normal equipment. It sold all the merchant supplies, camping stuff, potions, and more.

I went back to the [Cooking] section of the previous chapter and bought a bag of charcoal, a [Cord of Wood] and various fruits and vegetables. I next went to the [Camping] section for a [Straw Mattress]. I also visited the [Craftables] section to get a [Basic Block of Wood]. By then, it had been ten minutes, so I looked at the [Perfumes] section and found the [Perfume: Rotten Eggs]. Lastly, I visited the [Farming] section and found, at the top shelf squished between stacks of tents, a [Small Trash Composter].

I grinned. He may hate me, but _damn_ is he good!

* * *

I went to the checkout line, and payed for everything. There I figured out why he actually followed through. Let me show you:

[1 sack Charcoal] - 550 col  
[Apple] x20 - 40 col  
[Pepper] x20 - 60 col  
[Straw Matress] - 200 col  
[Basic Block Of Wood] - 100 col  
[Cord of Wood] - 300 col  
**Subtotal: 1250 col**

[Perfume: Rotten Eggs] - 750 col  
[Small Trash Composter] - 6000 col  
**Subtotal: 6750 col**

**TOTAL: 8000 col.**

**Do you wish to buy? You have 10,120 col.  
[Yes]  
[No]**

What.

The perfume cost more than half of the other stuff, and the [Small Trash Composter] was worth four times as much as everything else put together. Is that even supposed to be affordable for the first floor?

I suddenly grinned. Alright, I'll play this game. That's fine. Will _you_ be able to handle it, mister GM? Hmmm?

**[Yes]**

* * *

I checked my inbox as I got back to the hotel. There was a note to me, from the GM.

[Hey! Got all that stuff yet? HA!]

I quickly typed back [Yeah, and I still have 6120 col left. Is that a lot?"]

The only answer I received was two words. The only one appropriate to say would be the second, and that was 'you'.

* * *

"This isn't going to work. I need more space!"

I was very frustrated. I needed room to make the Niter-bed, and I couldn't just do that in a public place where people could interfere with the experiment!

But wait... I could see if there was a faraway place that no monsters spawned, and I could set up shop in peace. If no [Inner Areas] worked, then maybe an [Outer area], right? Well, the first floor is supposed to be the biggest. I bet I could find some place to make the bed.

And so I looked around, and decided on somewhere near that humongous mountain in the distance. It would be easy enough to find again in a hurry.

Thus, I started my journey.

* * *

Two days later and down two molotovs, I was at the edge of a giant ravine surrounding the tallest mountain. The only way across was past two giant golem defenders, who I was not about to attack. _Well, _I thought _The niter-bed needs to be kept moist, so I'll find a river near here, and set up some contraption with it next to the bed_.

Thus decreeing, I took about 50 steps out into the uninhabited woods surrounding the mountain (that was where the river was), and set up the bed. I laid down some [Torches] so I could find it at night, and all was done. I had made sure everything was taken care of while coming over. Even the composting was done last night.

The last thing that I did was make a small pool off to one side, with a gate. The water would rush in and in, until the gate couldn't hold the pressure and would let it out onto the pile. Then the gate would shut and the cycle would repeat. It should have took about a day to fill the pool I made, and I checked by waiting for that one necessary day. It worked. All that I needed to do now, was wait. Just six more months.

* * *

I returned to [Horunka] the following day. Surprisingly, there were sentries and mobs of people everywhere. This was strange. Were they here before?

I went over to one of the groups and picked up on their conversation.

"-eyes, what's wrong?" I assumed that he had said something like "C'mon guys, what's wrong?" and I just couldn't hear the whole thing.

"Man, it's too dangerous. Without the protection of an [Inner Area], we can't camp here!"

So this town wasn't an [Inner Area] anymore? That's not good... oh well."

"-on't have to stay for the big fight, we can just move on after tonight!" This was the leader again. He must've started with "We don't" or something.

Walking away, I began thinking and missed the end of the conversation. _So apparently they removed the protection on this town, and a big fight is coming up soon. Well, that's fine. As long as the NPCs stay alive, I don't actually care that much. Just more EXP for_ me.

I cannot say my attitude was mirrored by others around me.

* * *

Well, it was apparently the day of the fight. Some left, more came, and the town was fortified. In this span of time I had leveled up, and now had a solid 62000 exp, 966 HP, 3 [Strength], 3 [Agility], and 10 [Luck]. I really valued all the extra EXP and drops I obtained from [Luck], and thus decided to continue to level it up.

My [Weapon Throwing] was level 13/1000, and the [Lucky] skill stays at level one.

The next skill slot came in five more levels.

Time to kill some wolves.

* * *

I raced through the town, grinning like a maniac. Yeah, those points in [Luck] were definitely worth it.

The boss [The Harrowing Fang] seemed to spawn the giant wolves until it was dead.

Each giant wolf gave me about 60000 exp.

That's right.

60000 exp.

Other people got in the way, so I never got the [Last Attack], but I didn't need it, with all my [Luck].

I killed four wolves, netting myself a total of 206000 exp.

I am now level 12, with [268000/312000] exp.

Third skill slot? [Tailoring].

7 level ups?

5, 5, 18.

Yup.

And everything at shops are automatically at 28% discount.

Beat that, stupid game.

* * *

**AN: [Wood Crafting] is going to be very useful later on... but not quite yet. So he/I take [Tailoring] instead.**


	6. Big Booms Chap 3

As of 9/1/2013:

This is an original SAO (Sword Art Online) story. 『』«»

* * *

**I Like Big Booms**

Chapter 3: I Meet a Rat. And Stuff.

Next day of my wonderful life here at Sword Art Online, where I blow up random things meant to be killed by swords! And win! In secret!

All in secret in fear of others finding my ideas and using them. I found out (the easy way - ask a GM) that other players could be hurt by my fire and explosions. So if I, say, through a frag grenade into the middle of a boss battle, I would kill many of the other players along with my target. And that isn't allowed. So a big no-no was put over that idea. Plus, if Kayaba has any control over this game, the he would probably shut down all the explosives if he saw they were becoming widely used.

On another note...

I was off on my daily grind. Sadly, there was no way to get the massive amounts of exp like those giant wolves had given us during the event. However, I had discovered a secret dungeon that very few (none, as far I as could tell) people knew about. I went through it and looted it, and cleared the only floor of traps. The dungeon was actually pretty small, and lacked a boss. However, the monsters that spawned were great. It was just a lot of『Small Wolf』, which was actually a good thing. A single 『Small Wolf』 gives you about 400 col and 400 exp, but has super-high attack and hp. So, while they gave great exp, it would be safer and easier (for a normal player) mass-murder 『Snarlys』, which had about equal attack, 1/2 the HP, less 『Defense』, and gave 40 exp.

But that was the great thing about 『Lucky』. It leveled up 10 times for each skill point you put into 『Luck』. At level 100, which means 10 skill points in 『Luck』, you get a drop-down list of changeable variables. For example, 『Drop Rate』, 『Nearby Spawn Rate』, 『Trap Triggering Chance』 and 『EXP gain』. It gives you a slidebar for each variable, and you can move it farther from average with each point put in 『Lucky』. Right now, 『Drop Rate』, 『Nearby Spawn Rate』 and 『EXP gain』. were at max, while 『Trap Triggering Chance』 was at minimum. So I was getting about 600 exp per wolf, and they spawned super-fast. Not that it mattered. One molotov, and even the strongest could crumble.

I was enjoying the good life; 520700/544000 exp, level 16, 7 『Strength』, 7 『Agility』 and 37 『Luck』. As much equipment as I needed, 1.2 million col, even...

"Whoa! Is that a molotov cocktail? Making one in here has _g__ot_ to be the awesomest thing ever!"

I whirled around to see, leaning on a cave wall, a little girl with black hair and whisker marks on her cheeks. She was smiling at me cheekily, and twirling a dagger through her fingers.

I looked at her. "Who are you?"

"『Argo the Rat』, information dealer extraordinaire! How much do you want for it?" She looked a me eagerly.

She was definitely a weird one. "Want for what?"

"Your info, of course! C'mon, I'll pay you good if you tell me how to make molotovs!"

"Nope. No. Way."

"Awww... why not? Even for..." She leaned towards me and smirked conspiratorially."100,000 col?"

"No, why would I do that? You're that Argo who publishes the guidebook, right? Well, if I sold this to you, then _everyone_ would know about how to make these!"

"Why is that a bad thing?" She jumped next to me, and looped her arm around my shoulder and extended her other in front of us. "Can't you just imagine it? 200 people throwing hand grenades and decimating the enemies, causing us to clear this game in 1/10 the time!"

I frowned at her. "That's a large oversight for someone as smart as you seem to be. Seriously. Already, Player Killing has begun. And these bombs can hurt players too. Can you imagine it? The entire front line destroyed by a surprise attack from one PKer? And then Kayaba removing the capacity for these from the game? No, it is much better for these to stay a secret."

She let go of me, turned around and pouted. "Aww, you're no fun. Oh well, I guess. The idea was cool enough."

"But in the mean time, I was wondering about something?"

"What? It'll cost you."

"I'm sure I can handle it. It's about some fabrics..."

* * *

It had been a month since the start of the game. Exactly. Due to some prior preparations leading up to today, everyone was about to fight the boss. I stood to the side, in a «Reinforced Leather Cloak» that hid my features from the rest of the world. I was level 23 as of now, and a good deal higher than almost everyone else there. The boss was going to go down.

* * *

『Illfang The Kobold Lord』. A fearsome opponent for many, probably. He was big and powerful, and used sword skills. While nobody was looking, I threw metal spikes at one of his legs. 1 of them hit and was embedded inside his flesh. For those of you that don't know, that causes a constant HP drain to occur. No matter how much HP he had, a 1HP/second drain will whittle you down easily. 2000 seconds with no other help, 33 minutes and 20 seconds. Besides that, I didn't do much, just watched. There were those twins again, and a few other recognizable faces.

Someone named Kirito got the last attack, and some idiots were angry at him for some reason or another. Really though, no matter what excuses you make up, it was jealousy.

And so the first floor was defeated. 99 to go (hypothetically).


End file.
